I'd Lie For You And That's the Truth
by Nagi-Oki
Summary: My first Naruto songfic done traditional Nagi-Oki style. A little angsty but I always give a happy ending. ChoujiIno, LeeSakura, & AsumaKurenai.


I'd Lie For You (And That's the Truth)

By: Nagi-Oki, the Kabuto no Miko

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and the song is by Meat Loaf, the incomparable god of rock! These pairs are based on my own opinions and reflections. Idunno if they have movie theaters in Naruto but they do HERE! I just remembered the music video to this song and it touched the unrequitted love heartstrings I have.

Scene: Outside the Konoha Multiplex, it's the late night premier of the new Hiroshima Hino (Think Japanese Indiana Jones) movie, Raiders of the Temple Crusade. Lee is staring up at the poster of Hino with some hot starlet swinging away from peril by his whip. He mental washes over the image replacing Hino with himself and the starlet with Sakura. Neji looked at the poster then Lee, his brilliant mind already reading Lee's train of thought.

Neji: You think that's you and Sakura, don't you? Actually I think in this movie you'd be HIM.

Neji points out the dorky slap-stick tag along character hanging off Hino's foot reaching comedically back for a dropped idol. Lee spews tears of despair at this. Neji smiled, finding some humor in Lee's suffering.

Lee: Why do you delight in torturing me?

Neji: (shrugs) Even a genius needs a hobby. Now Hino would DEFINATELY be SASUKE in Sakura's mind.

Lee hmphs, turning from the poster and looking around, waiting to buy a ticket to the movie. He spotted Sakura. She turned in his direction and smiled.

Lee.oO( I-is she smiling...AT ME? )

Sakura starts walking towards Lee. Lee panicked but quickly leaned against the wall, trying to assume a cool posture. He was just about to open his mouth when Sasuke walked past him. Sakura stopped, thanking Sasuke for coming. He sighed looking back at the poster. He touched the comedic character.

Neji.oO( What is this feeling in the back of my head? Is it...GUILT? )

Neji edged closer to Lee and tried petting his shoulder sympathetically, instead it was more like a mechanical spanking on his shoulder. Meanwhile Chouji was going with Shikamaru and Ino.

Ino: It was really cool of your dad to get us tickets to the movie Chouji. Hino-san is sooooooo dreamy...

Chouji: No problem, say Ino, would you mind if I

Before Chouji could ask, Ino spotted Sasuke and took off to go pester him. He froze, dropping his bag of chips. (GASP!) Shikamaru sighed, he knew how his friend felt. Chouji picked up the bag but had lost his appetite. He saw Lee loking sadly at the poster, or more particularly at the comic relief character. He couldn't help but sympathize with that poor character, they never got the girl. Asuma walked up to the theater, he was down because he asked Kurenai to join him for the movie and she declined.

Asuma.oO( Probably busy with her missions or something. I'll ask her another day... )

As Asuma passed the poster he saw Kurenai at the ticket booth with Gai and Kakashi. He took the cigarette from his mouth, stomping it out. He looked to Chouji and Lee, he could only guess they were as heartbroken as he felt inside. But the three heaved a heavy sigh and entered the movie theater. Of course Ino sat on one side of Sasuke and Sakura on the other both fighting for his undivided attention. Lee watched from his place a few rows back. He watched as the house lights dimmed and the feature started. Lee watched as the movie opened, the cast replaced with people he knew.

The movie started out with Lee and Sakura desperately escaping from Orochimaru ( Complete with Nazi-esque regalia and riding crop ) and his equally evil consort, Kabuto ( dressed in a black femme fatale dress, his hair out of it's pony-tail ). They hijacked a jeep and were trying to escape the pursuing sound ninjas/nazis. Sakura dressed in a summer dress, clutching a solid gold chibi-Gai statuette. Lee was driving, trying to avoid the road hazards, dressed in blue jeans and a Loser t-shirt. As Orochimaru gave the command to open fire the idol started glowing and the jeep vanished. Leaving the nazis dumbfounded. Their jeep now crashed in a sand dune, the two wander, lost in the desert. Finally, to thirsty and exhausted to go on, they collapse. But luckily they fell near the famous archeaologist's, Konoha Uchiha, dig site. The workers run over to their aid. Lee opens his eyes to see Sasuke bent over Sakura, lifting her and the idol up. The guys help Lee up who is staring in disbelief as Sasuke walks off with his girl. He goes into a song.

Lee:  
I'd never tell you one lie. I'd never let you down. I'd never leave I'd be the one who'd always be around.

Sasuke lies Sakura out in the shade.

Sakura:  
Baby give me a chance.

Lee watches as Sasuke pours some water over Sakura's lips. The girl reviving and smiling to her savior.

I'd pull the sun down from the sky. To light your darkest night. I wouldn't let one drop of rain fall down into your life.

Sakura:  
Put your heart in my hands.

Suddenly the ninja/nazis show up. They grab Sakura and the idol, carrying her into a jeep. Orochimaru and Kabuto watch evilly smiling.

Lee:  
Baby believe me, I could never do you wrong. And I would never paint your world blue.

One of the workers (Neji) gets in another jeep, Lee hops in intent on saving Sakura. They drive off chasing the jeep.

Lee:  
And if sometimes it seems I must have lost my mind. I might be crazy, but I'm crazy about you.

Sasuke hops on his white horse and rides off to also stop them. He cuts off the nazi jeep, causing it to crash sending the idol and Sakura flying.

Lee & Sakura:  
I'd lie for you and that's the truth. Do anything you asked me to. I'd even sell my soul for you. I'd do it all for you. If you'd just believe in me.

Lee watches in shock as Sasuke catches the idol and Sakura, riding off to safety.

Lee sighed, sadly slurping his soda. The comedy guy was always the loser. Meanwhile Chouji was fingering his popcorn bowl, too depressed to actually eat. Shikamaru knew this because Chouji hadn't bitten his fingers for sneaking a hand full here or there. Chouji too shared Lee's ability to mentally recast movies.

Chouji, the comedy guy, sits outside by the fire with the crew as they recount today's events. He's too busy staring at Sasuke's tent where Ino, dressed as a harem girl, dances for him.

Chouji:  
Just take a look in my eyes. You'll see a love that's blind. Just take a hold of my hand. I'll take you to paradise.

Ino:  
Ain't a star that's too far.

Ino dances, seducing Uchiha with her beautiful body. Chouji just mopes on the outside as his weenie on a stick burns.

Chouji:  
Your every wish will be a wish. That I will make come true. And if you want the moon. I swear I'll bring it down for you.

Ino:  
Let me into your heart.

The scene changes and the team is white water rafting to escape the nazis again. Unfortunately the helicopter forces them to land where the nazis search for the idol. Orochimaru and Kabuto watching with evil gleeness.

Ino:  
Believe me baby. Got your name carved on my soul. 'cause your the only one that I'll give it too.

Chouji:  
Go let'em say that I'm fool to act this way. 'cause if I'm crazy, I'm just crazy 'bout you.

Ino hid the idol in her sack, while the nazis are busy searching the other bags, she tries sneaking away. Ino slips, falling into the raft. Chouji runs off to go save her while Sasuke fights the nazis. Ino screams, seeing she's headed for the waterfall.

Chouji & Ino:  
I'd lie for you and that's the truth. Do anything you asked me to. I'd even sell my soul for you. I'd do it all for you. If you'd just believe in me.

Chouji climbs a tree, trying to save Ino. Sasuke and his crew commandere the helicopter. Ino misses Chouji's hand and goes over the fall. But Sasuke catches her, hanging onto the rope ladder.

CAST CHANGE!

Kurenai, in a beautiful red dress, is being forcefully loaded onto a cargo plane when Asuma drives through the runway in a pick-up to save her. Orochimaru barks orders while Kabuta caresses his shoulders. The plane starts rolling.

Asuma & Kurenai:  
I'd lie for you and that's the truth. Move mountains if you want me to. I'd walk across the fire for you. I'd walk on the wild for you. If you'd just believe in me.

Kurenai manages to force the nazis out the open door, as Asuma drives up alongside the plane trying to coax her to jump in.

Kurenai:  
And you will never see a day. I'll ever break your heart. You'll see the sky fall down. Before it ever gets that far.

Kurenai reaches out for Asuma, but Konoha Maito and Konoha Hatake jump onto the pick-up's bed. Gai flashes Asuma a grin before they jump into the cabin of the plane. Asuma sees he's about to crash into a propane tank and leaps from the truck into the cabin.

Asuma & Kurenai:  
I'll show you heaven. Every second that your in my arms. Baby, I'm crazy, but I'm crazy 'bout you.

Asuma sees he's about to crash into a propane truck. He leaps onto the plane just as it leaves the ground. The truck crashes into the propane truck with a HUGE explosion. They fly off to some far off temple. They enter and fire flies from an altar. The evil queen of evil Anko rises up midst the flames.

Asuma & Kurenai:  
I'd lie for you and that's the truth. Move mountains if you want me to. I'd walk across the fire for you. I'd walk on the wild for you. If you'd just believe in me.

Anko cackles evily as she sics a fire snake on our heroes. Asuma's only concerned with saving Kurenai as Kakashi and Gai whip at the snake. Kurenai and Asuma run as the snake bursts into flames, changing the scene. Kakashi and Gai/Sasuke and Kurenai/Ino/Sakura approach Orochimaru and Kabuto in a desert scene.

Asuma/Chouji/Lee:  
I'd walk across the wild for you.

Kakashi and Gai/Sasuke take the idol from it's pack as Orochimaru holds a briefcase full of money.

Kurenai/Ino/Sakura:  
Move mountains if you want me to.

Kakashi and Gai/Sasuke look at the idol then at Kurenai/Ino/Sakura.

Asuma/Chouji/Lee:  
I'd walk across fire for you

Kakashi and Gai/Sasuke hand the idol over to Orochimaru. Kurenai/Ino/Sakura look at them in shock.

Kurenai/Ino/Sakura:  
Do anything you asked me to.

Kurenai/Ino/Sakura slap Kakashi and Gai/Sasuke grab the idol and run. Meanwhile Asuma/Chouji/Lee are walking through an Arab market place sighing mournfully as they walk.

Asuma/Chouji/Lee & Kurenai/Ino/Sakura:  
I'd lie for you and that's the truth.  
Do anything you asked me to. I'd even sell my soul for you. I'd do it all for you. If you'd just believe in me.

Asuma/Chouji/Lee turn hearing someone, they smile seeing Kurenai/Ino/Sakura running towards them, their arms open wide. They embrace, spinning about in joy.

Asuma/Chouji/Lee & Kurenai/Ino/Sakura:  
I'd lie for you and that's the truth. Move mountains if you want me to. I'd walk across the fire for you. I'd walk on the wild for you. If you'd just believe in me.

Asuma/Chouji/Lee:  
I'd lie for you and that's the truth.

Asuma/Chouji/Lee lean in and kiss Kurenai/Ino/Sakura passionately as the credits roll.

Everybody blinks out of their daze as Sasuke stands up screaming.

Sasuke: ENOUGH! I'M NEVER GOING TO A MOVIE WITH EITHER OF YOU TWO AGAIN! CAN'T YOU STOP BITCHING AT EACH OTHER FOR 2 LITTLE MINUTES!

Sasuke storms out of the theater. Sakura sighs getting up. She spots Lee and walked over.

Sakura: Hi Lee, I didn't know you were here.

Lee: Oh yea, I love the Hiroshima Hino movie series.

Sakura: I'm sorry, I would've invited you instead of Sasuke had if I knew...Maybe next time?

Lee: Really? That sounds great!

Chouji watched as Ino walked back dejectedly to her teammates.

Ino: Uh...look guys, I'm sorry about that. And Chouji, thanks again for inviting me. We aughta do this again sometime.

Chouji: No problem, my dad gets free tickets all the time, my cousin's a manager here.

Asuma looked up as Kurenai and Kakashi stopped near him. He looked around.

Asuma: Where's Gai?

Kakashi: Weren't you paying attention? Gai got booted from the theater about 20 minutes into the movie.

Kurenai: (A hand to her forehead.) I've never been so embarrassed in my life. Asuma, I'm sorry about this. Gai challenged Kakashi to a date contest and I was the judge. I'm free tomorrow if you still want to go out, think of it as an appology.

Asuma: Sure, that sounds great.

The three smiled internally, the comic relief guy wasn't the hero of the movie. But without him the story would be dull and repetative. So what if they weren't the main characters of the story they were always there in the clutch.

THE END

Sorry for the sappy ending but I couldn't leave these poor second bananas hanging. They suffer so much!

Lee: Yay! She likes us!

Actually this is a prelude to a Gai/Lee yaoi songfic.

Lee: AW CRAP! 


End file.
